Random Events and the Big Fat Pigwidgeon
by LambdaUpsilon
Summary: The title pretty much explains it. :) Basically a jumble of stuff. Reviews are welcome.
1. Default Chapter

Ginny Weasley was feeling poetic. For no exact reason. She surprised even  
herself when she woke up with a whole poem formed inside her head. This  
totally didn't tie in with her punk-like, rather aggressive personality.  
But she couldn't do anything about it and soon her poor brain was filled  
with melancholic ideas, which she quickly began scribbling down in the  
common room.  
  
At this very moment, an extremely annoyed Neville climbed out of the  
portrait hole and, in a gorilla-like way, stalked over to an armchair. He  
didn't kick people today. Instead, some evil 1st year Hufflepuff kicked  
him. This was when Neville made up his mind to finally become a bully. So,  
as Ginny watched with raised eyebrows, he sat down and screwed up his face  
in an overly grouchy expression. He just wanted her and everybody else  
present to be impressed by how manly he became. But apparently, Fred and  
George had other plans. George quickly sneaked up behind Neville and  
whispered a curse he and his twin had recently invented. The effects would  
come later, when no one expected anything.  
  
Meanwhile, Ginny snorted, "Neville, do you need to see Mme. Pomfrey? It  
looks as though you're constipated." This remark made Neville's face turn  
purple. He growled something like, "I beat you up. You dumb and weak, and I  
smart and strong." After this very intelligent comment, he went into the  
dormitory. Ginny shrugged and then wrote a short poem about Neville; the  
idea came to her when she saw his constipated face.  
  
Honestly, his brain carries wind!  
Ugh, he's such a gorilla!  
Wow, he seems so lost!  
Bloody hell, I thought he was cool!  
Oh, how I was wrong!  
Man, he truly confuses me!  
  
Etc, etc, etc. Ginny never learned how to rhyme or even create a rhythm in  
her poetry, and to her this poem was a real work of art. Fred looked over  
his sister's shoulder and read her writing. Then he sniggered, making her  
jump. "Honestly, Ginny, you should hold a poetry contest. Hey George, you  
remember how she sent Harry her special valentine? I think this one's even  
better, don't you? And look how much emotion she put into it! Honestly!  
Ugh! Wow! Bloody hell! Oh! Man!"  
Ginny tore the parchment away from him and glared. But then a thought  
struck her. A poetry contest! What a great idea! 


	2. Chapter 2

Finally came the evening of Ginny's "poetry contest". Ginny was of course  
hoping for the people to read a poem, but the only ones who actually wrote  
something was herself. But Ginny didn't know that yet. She was happy that  
so many people came to the contest, which most of them interpreted as being  
a simple party. Harry quickly visited Hogsmeade and bought LOTS of alcohol.  
  
Ginny: Hey Harry, thanks for joining the poetry contest! What did you  
bring?  
  
Harry: Well, I got three bottles of vodka, 3 bottles of whiskey, LOTS of  
beer, and my broomstick.  
  
Ginny: Errrr... but what about the poem? What did you write?  
  
Harry: I wrote a couple of checks to the bar keeper. But not in poetry  
format, what am I? An idiot?  
  
Ginny: Ok, you can pass those around now.  
  
Harry passed around everything except vodka, whiskey, and his broomstick.  
He decided to save them all to himself and settled in a corner.  
  
Soon everybody else arrived. Ginny tried to get everyone's attention. She  
finally decided that it was time to start the poetry contest. No one  
noticed.  
  
Hermione: Hummmmmmmmmm, hummmmmmmmm  
  
Draco: Where is the FOOD?! Where is my piano?! Where is....Hermione, what  
the hell are you doing?  
  
Harry paused before opening the second bottle of vodka, and said: Hic, I  
think she's, hic, meditating, hic.  
  
After watching enough of Hermione's brilliant meditation, Harry whacked her  
with the empty vodka bottle. Obviously this made her shut up.  
  
Draco: OH MY POOR HERMIONE! Say something! Say SOMETHING!  
  
Hermione: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  
  
Meanwhile Fred and George's trick was coming to life; Neville began to  
think he could flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  



End file.
